I’m feeling decidedly off colour this morning having spent a good portion of the night trying to expel precious bodily fluids through a variety of unpleasant means, leaving me feeling somewhat run down. I’ve dragged myself into work but I think its going to take a while for me to be able to get up to speed this morning.
One of our neighbours as got a new car, a huge gas guzzling Mercedes 4 x 4. This is in-spite of him neither a)being a farmer, b) being involved in any form of mountain rescue or c) having any conceivable reason for needing one. He doesn’t even have the fall back excuse of every other Chelsea Tractor owning member of society of “My children are safer”. We all know that the governments attempts to tax these monsters off the road are currently failing but I have another more radical solution…
< Grizzled American Voiceover >
Do you drive a large, gas guzzling 4 x 4 car for no apparent reason? Employed in the Creative, Financial or other Service industries but still drive a large SUV because it makes you feel more of a man (or if you’re a women makes sure you’re treated more like a man)? Why should you pay Road Tax like the rest of people when you don’t even need to use roads*?
We here at the Unelectable Party propose scrapping Road Tax for all owners of unnecessary 4 x 4’s and SUV’s! That’s right – no more Road Tax! Do away with that Tax Disc!
Are we mad? No! Instead the lost revenue will be made up for with the introduction of Irresponsible Tosspot Tax! For a yearly increasing fee (shockingly in line with what you’d be paying in Road Tax) you will instead be issued with an Irresponsible Tosspot Tax Disc for you to display in your vehicle for all to see! And just so everyone knows what you are we’ve even made the disc bigger – and in flashing neon!
So do away with Road Tax – become an Irresponsible Tosspot for a greener future.
< /Grizzled American Voiceover >
*Not that you go off-road as that will put your precious paint job at risk.