Help! Idiots loose!

So, final night of the weeks trip to the opera for The Adventures of Pinnochio (which was fab). Very child friendly opera, so lots of little ones laughing along and going ah – very cute and not at all annoying (in fact, rather encouraging). However, there was also an outbreak of idiots, many of whom seemed to be in my vicinity.

I won’t comment on the couple behind me who chatted all the way through except to say that there is a special level of hell reserved for you.

The two prime idiots (who need to be shared with the world) were either side of me, this was the conversation (which I attempted to exit on a number of occasions);
Woman 1: Where are the Cornets?
Me: (Looks areound the pit) There aren’t any.
Woman 1: Aren’t those it there?
Me: No, those are the French Horns.
Woman 1: Those (points elsewhere)?
Me: No, they’re the Trombones and Bass Trombone.
Woman 1: Well my daughters in an orchestra and there are always Cornets!
Me: (Picks up programme and checks orchestra listing) Not in this one…
Woman 2 (On the other side of me, directed at Women): Do you like the opera?
Woman 1: No.
Woman 2: I do, do you? (looks at me).
Me: Yes.
Woman 2: Although I went to see that one the other night, Peter Grimes, but I didn’t think much of it.
Me: I rather liked it.
Woman 2: Yes, but the person who wrote it…
Me: Britten…
Woman 2: He’s not a real composer is he, its not really an opera don’t you think?
(The lights dim saving me…)

Lady, you don’t want to know what I think…

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